Let me apologize...

It’s been quite some time since my last post hasn’t it?

I’ve started on some medication. It’s he first time I’ve taken any, and I’m not entirely sure when it’ll will kick in or what I’m to expect when it does. I’m closing in on the 4 week mark so we’ll see.

I froze like a deer in headlights when my mom found the bottle while helping me move out of my house at school. She just looked at it and put it down. I wasn’t sure what to think of it, but now I realize she didn’t say anything because my dad was there. She’s been pleased with the weight I’ve lost this semester, and a few days later, she mentioned how well my diet pills must be working.

I don’t know what’s worse, that I have to hide the fact that I’m taking meds for severe depression from my own mother, or the fact that she thinks they’re fucking diet pills. It’s not like I haven’t been too busy, too stresses, or just to fucking tired to eat properly or anything like that.

I want to scream. And I want to die, like always. But what if I can find something to hold on to? I’m so scared that I’ll miss it. But I’m also scared that I’m too weak to hold out for it either.